Success is Lonely
Work was collaborative when I started my solo career. I co-launched products and co-presented. When I was in town, people invited me to grab coffee or beer. “Big names” in the field promoted my work.
Until my profile started to rise.
Until I started to have more influence than some of those “big names.” It’s amazing how quickly some dudes go from “I’m a feminist, look at the women I support” to absolute crickets as soon as you start to feel like a threat to their ego.
With other people, I guess/believe I became intimidating. Where people used to hit me up before a conference to see if we could catch a drink at the bar or to ask if I could chair their session, now I think I seem too busy or important to bother?
Whatever the reason, the result was the same:
The more success I saw, the more alone I felt.
You know what they say: It’s lonely at the top.
wah wah, #firstworldproblems, let me get out the world’s tiniest violin to play you and your privilege a sad tune, cry from your yacht
I know, I know.
But it’s still true.
And not just for me.
Check out this study of salaried employees, published in Fast Company. 55% of senior-level women said they’ve felt lonely at work in the past month.
60% of women said their sense of isolation increased as their career progressed.
And that’s among women who still go to an office and thus run into other people in similar roles. Imagine how this goes for those of us who are the solopreneur or the CEO of a small business.
My remedy came when I stopped looking for support from my field and started ganging up with other entrepreneurs. People who were sprinting down the same path as me, also building the plane as they fly it. Despite coming from different fields, our experiences are comfortingly similar.
They get me in a way no one else can.
We have conversations that are impossible with anyone else.
For example, my romantic partners have never had a social media presence (I guess my type is the “I’m not really on any platforms” guy). So while they’re willing to listen while I explain how the latest change in the Instagram algorithm is killing my posts, they have no freakin clue what I’m talking about.
My Fellow Founders get it. They share their research and workarounds. They commiserate and help me plot my next moves. We strategize.
My best friend loves me, but until she started her own company, she didn’t understand the low key pressure I just live with day to day. The thousands of tiny-but-big decisions I make on any given Monday.
Every entrepreneur needs Fellow Founders.
I’m not talking about a referral network where you ship each other business.
I’m not talking about collaborators you’ll propose projects with.
Though if those things happen along the way, extra special bonus points.
I’m talking about a group who’s sole purpose is moral, emotional, and logistical support. With zero financial profit or prestige on the line. No egos, just truth and love.
Where can you find your Fellow Founders?
You will undoubtedly make those connections with other students in Boost & Bloom. People connect in the Community Q & A or during Office Hours when they hear questions that resonate or answers that sing.
In fact, a student from my first cohort included this line in a recent check-in email (I’m keeping this anonymous because this wasn’t a formal testimonial):
“A.W. and I totally clicked on your B and B and have really supported each other in our journeys, which are quite similar.”
Two years after the course ended, we have Business Besties helping one another along.
This year, I’m adding a formal Fellow Founders program to Boost & Bloom.
As the course’s live portion comes to end, some time in May, I’ll connect you with 2 or 3 other founders. Past students can be a part of this too.
You’ll create a team name. Maybe a secret handshake that involves spit and a promise of confidentiality. And you’ll have each other’s backs as you continue to implement the plans you crafted during the course, scaling up your ethical empire.
If you want. No pressure. You can continue to go at it alone, like I did for many years.
I thought, therapy! A therapist will help me sort out these struggles. I started to see the very highest recommended therapist in town. In our first meeting she said “Oh, I’m not on social media.” She didn’t even own a computer. She could empathize on a general level but couldn’t really relate.
No one can relate like Fellow Founders.
Boost & Bloom opens again Winter 2025.
Now is the time to get on the VIP list, where you’ll get $100 off the course price.
This is where you join a space to learn everything you need to know about how to start and scale a thriving business while still keeping your heart beating.
Find out how to create a work life that aligns with your values.
Find your people.